Tuesday, 4 August 2015

MY NEW GIRLFRIEND'S COUSIN WAS THE GIRL I HURT IN THE PAST, NOW SHE WANTS ME BACK DESPITE DATING HER COUSIN

So I thought sharing this piece of me would hopefully get me some candid advice without any form of bias… I dated a girl for the entirety of our stay back in school (5years) and to be honest, it was an experience that was filled with some of the best moments life could ever throw at me.
Anu (original name withheld) was the kind of girl a guy would have and always feel he had hit a jackpot. If there was any other word that would suffice more than beautiful, it would have better described her, as she was a complete package for a regular campus dude. Beauty wasn’t just the only attribute that made us blend and gelled for our period back in school, she was also intelligent, financially independent, homely, lovely heart, got a great dress-sense and a shape to always adore…. All these for one person? Yea, that was Anu.

Fast forward to 2010 upon our graduation, we decided to go separate ways. Some incidences contributed to that happening. Anu’s parents had planned her furthering abroad even before we graduated and as such a week after we left school, plans had already begun for her leaving for the States, that was a step I didn’t see coming and had no answers to.
Insecurity and several allegations on cheating from her especially after we graduated and saw less often also made me started considering my options and go different ways. A bitter pill to swallow and hard to admit but the truth is while all these were going on, I realized I was already developing feelings for another…Cheat, ingrate……& so on are all names which you can rightfully label me and I would not have to bat an eyelid  and feel unjustified.
Not to bore you with the long story, I told Anu when she eventually got to the States that I could not deal with the whole scenario anymore; distance relationships, mistrust and constant allegations about cheating were not my thing. As expected, tears followed, reminding of all the promises and vows we made to ourselves, how much of our lives we had dedicated to building ourselves up, how we have made it through thick and thin. Amongst all these, not like I didn’t feel like the heartless one, not like the love was not there no-more but it was out of respect to let go as I was unable to handle what was fast-hitting me, and to continue seeing someone else closer was a simple NO-NO!!.
We moved on with our lives, I rounded up my service year, got a good job and met another lady during one of my transacting days in the bank…. Let me say at this point that the lady I left Anu for was history, at this point I was filled with regrets, not all seemed the way it portrayed itself.  I met this lady, Zoe, July 2013 and we became good buddies and chat mates. We usually swung by each other’s offices either during lunch hours or at the close of work because we both worked on the Island, a stone throw from each other. 
Our friendship lasted a whole year and counting with little or relatively no major quarrel or “bad blood”,  permit my grammar….Many assumed we were dating as we were both single, almost inseparable and respected ourselves which pretty much kept us ticking this whole time.  I know most of you reading this would have assumed some strings would have been attached or we must have gotten down at some point or the other considering my history i.e. cheating on Anu with a misfit…. But no, I had decided to take it slow and do things the right way.
At around 11pm September 4 2014, i.e. Friday night, I dropped Zoe off at home, we had hung out after work that same day. I knew I had gotten to that point where I could not lie to myself anymore, I was already deep in love with her and it was only right to let her know. I summed up courage to voice out and the response I got was *Clears throat* not what I feared….. She drew me closer and kissed me with these words……”I thought you would never ask”….  Ladies & gentlemen that was the beginning of a love so strong.
Earlier this year, I received a call on Saturday morning around 7am from Zoe requesting I drive her to pick her cousin from the airport; I was still sleepy though but in all fairness she had always talked about her cousin who was once in love but got her heart broken and as such decided to stay put in the States all to get healed and back to her feet again..
We got to the airport and waited at the arrival terminal; the greatest shock I received was the fact that Anu my ex-lover back in school was Zoe’s beloved and hurt cousin…You know those moments where you wish the ground would open up to swallow you or you wish you were working on Microsoft word and press “Control Z” to undo all that has so far been done… that was the situation I found myself.
Anu smiled, hugged and pretended she was just meeting me for the first time while we drove her to Zoe’s apartment. That was the longest drive ever in my life, it was more like I was driving to a neighboring country due to the distance which originally isn’t there but considering all you are face with, it was what it was. I dropped them at home and gave excuses while I had to jet-off and could not stay back which Zoe understood but Anu knew all about.
On getting home, my phone rang and it was Anu calling with Zoe’s number to “thank me”, no one needs to tell me I was in for a serious mess especially if Zoe realizes I am the evil guy that left her cousin heart-broken and never told her about it or the fear of Anu bringing back memories.
Ever since Anu’s arrival, I have always received calls and text messages from Anu reminding me of all the good times as well as suggesting we have a fling while she lasts in Nigeria before going back. Truthfully, I am really in love with Zoe but I feel this guilt of dumping Anu for another considering I was her “first” and even learnt she has refused dating another guy ever since we broke-up.
I feel like seeing her and talking to her alone, probably catching up on old times, apologizing for all my wrongs and making her see reasons she has to move on, my fears are:  I might end-up doing what I should not do, spark-up another sizzling romance with her considering she is even looking hotter and better than what she looked like years back, giving her the wrong impression…
The other option I have which is honestly difficult is to open up to Zoe about everything which I risk losing her and her trust, but what I fear more is her finding out herself considering the way and frequency Anu has been calling and texting ever since she got back….

I am really in a dilemma, what should I do?
Source - LLB

No comments:

Post a Comment